Sunday, May 27, 2012

What Jesus said about. . . Fear


What Jesus Said About Fear


So, what are you afraid of?  What it is that sends Goosebumps up and down your spine, brings your heart to your throat and makes you want to throw up just thinking about it?  Snakes, heights, spiders, enclosed spaces? 

Back in the day one of my favourite shows was “Fear Factor”.  I had to watch it alone because Angela didn’t like it, but I loved it, probably a character flaw.  The show tried to make a comeback this past year but didn’t seem to connect this time and to be honest I didn’t watch it the second time around, maybe it lost its appeal or maybe those of us who watched it just grew up. 

Was anyone else here a “Fear Factor” fan?  If you never saw the show, it would normally begin with six contestants, three male and three female.  And it would appear that these contestants had to pass through a whole series of interviews to assure that ugly people didn’t get on the show.

And then for an hour these people would compete to see who would win the $50,000.00 prize that was given away each week.  During the time I watched the show the contestants were covered in tarantulas, jumped from helicopters, leapt into space and were covered with snakes..  Add to that they’ve eaten eyes, brains, bugs and body parts we don’t discuss in polite company.  When Franklin D. Roosevelt said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  He obviously hadn’t watched this show.
 
 I would last about 27 seconds on the show.  I am terrified of heights, scared to death of snakes and really my idea of exotic foods is putting onions on my hamburger.  So what are you afraid of? Now don’t tell me “nothing”; an article in one Medical Journal stated “The man who knows no fear is not only a gross exaggeration, he is a biological impossibility.”   You know that’s the truth with “Fear Factor”  All you have to do is watch their faces to understand that in many cases it’s not a matter of not being afraid as much as it is a matter of conquering your fear.  And sometimes it’s fear that does the conquering.

Fear will always be with us, it’s one of the base emotions along with hunger, love and hate, and it’s not just limited to the human animal but is instinctive and crosses throughout the animal kingdom.  You might even say that fear is a gift from God, it keeps us alive.  Leonardo Da Vinci made this comment, “Just as courage imperils life; fear protects it.”

It is fear that keeps you from driving 200 km/h on a back road, or stepping off a twelve story building.  This is not an unnatural or unhealthy fear.  Of course you can overcome this, jumping out of an airplane with nothing between you and the ground but a square of silk and a bunch of strings should inspire fear, but skydivers overcome that.  Race car drivers have learned to overcome their fear of speed.  On fear factor contestants regularly are able to overcome their natural fears.

We’ve all met people who are afraid of something and yet they have risen above their fear. Those in the know tell us that 30% of the population are afraid of flying, and yet many of those people will fly when they have to.

Flying does not bother me in the least bit.  I used to say that I had never been afraid in a plane that I have been flying or that anyone else has been flying.  And then I flew in Africa.  I forget what the official name of the airline was but I will never forget that one national told me that it was known unofficially as “Coffin Air”.  But even with that experience I still find it difficult to understand the fear of flying.  On the other hand Angela hates to fly, if it was up to her we would drive everywhere we go, regardless of the distance.  Luckily there  was an Ocean between here and Australia.  Every year we fly south, she doesn’t like it but she does it.  She is able to overcome her fear in order to do something she wants to do. 

But friends I have a confession to make, I don’t like snakes.  Which is not surprising because my father is terrified of snakes.  In one article I read about fears and phobias states: “Many people suffering from a specific phobia have at least one phobic parent.”  I would agree, Dad passed that on to me and  when it comes to snakes I am a coward, and I don’t mean a little bit afraid I am terrified of snakes. 

25 years ago Angela and I went to Florida on a vacation, during a trip we visited a place called Gator Land, I wanted to Go because that’s where part of the Bond Movie, “Live and Let Die” with Roger Moore was filmed.  Angela wanted to go because in the brochure it said that you could have your picture taken with a four foot boa constrictor and that type of thing shakes Angela’s tree. I mean she could hardly wait to hold that monster.  Well I laid awake most of the night before struggling with my fear of snakes, I had been preaching about conquering your fear back in Truro and it was time for me to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak.

On the screen you will see a picture of Denn with a four foot boa constrictor wrapped around my neck.  Yes I know the collar is up on my leather jacket, but the snake is still there.  I am still terrified of snakes, scared to death, but I have conquered the fear, it will no longer rule my life.  If you were to bring a snake up to me I could touch it, I could even hold it, but I ain’t ever gonna like it.  Which worked out well because if I hadn’t gotten that fear under control I might never have moved to Australia where they have 7 of the 10 most poisonous snakes in the world.  Which by the way if you haven’t heard our big snake story, on one of our trips we ran over a snake on the road.  I know that’s not all that unusual, however the reason we ran over this snake was because it was stretched across both lanes of the road. Not a word of a lie.

We are told that the four greatest impelling motives in life are fear, hope, love and faith and we are also told that the greatest is fear, that it’s first in order, first in force and first in fruit.  Not in everyone of course, but in the majority of people.  And the Bible talks about fear, the word fear is mentioned 266 times and the word afraid is mentioned 223 times.  The first time fear is mentioned is in Genesis 3:10 and the last time it’s seen is Revelation 19:5.

So what did Jesus say about fear?  Well if you read through the Gospels you discover that 15 times Jesus tells people to not be afraid.  Now he doesn’t tell people to be foolishly fearless, but he does tell them to not be afraid of certain things. 

Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.  And so Jesus begins by telling us Don’t Be Afraid to Live  I’m sure that you understand by now that you can become so busy making a living that you never actually take time to make a life. We can become so caught up in the minutia that we miss out on the bigger picture. 
At some point we have to come to the place that we realize that we matter to God, that God loves us and wants the very best for us.   We can choose to trust God with our lives or we can choose to worry about everything in our lives, but we can’t do both.
And all too often the things we worry about only exist in our minds and often take on a life of their own.  And so we don’t do the things that we want to do because we are so consumed with the consequences.  We don’t go places because we are afraid to fly or take a boat, we don’t do things because  there might be consequences, we don’t enjoy the today because we are so consumed with what might happen tomorrow.
I love the story of the Bishop who had this irrational fear that his legs were going to become paralysed.  One night while he was at a dinner party he reached down and pinched his leg, when he couldn't feel anything he exclaimed out loud, “Just as I feared, total insensitivity below the waist.”  The lady sitting next to him responded by saying, “If it's any comfort your grace, the leg you pinched was mine.”  I mean face it people the very least we can do is make sure that we are pinching our own leg.

Don’t be afraid to live.

Mark 5:36 But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.” Don’t Be Afraid to Believe  This is one of the great stories in the New Testament.  Jairus is a leader in the local synagogue and when he hears that Jesus has come to his community he tracks down the teacher and falls at his feet, we can pick up the story in Mark 5:22-23 Then a leader of the local synagogue, whose name was Jairus, arrived. When he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet, pleading fervently with him. “My little daughter is dying,” he said. “Please come and lay your hands on her; heal her so she can live.”
 And as Jesus makes his way to Jairus’ home he encounters and heals a women who has been sick for twelve years.  I’m sure that as Jesus interacts with the ill woman that Jairus is shifting from one foot to the other, bouncing up and down and muttering under his breath, “come on Jesus, come on, she’s been sick for twelve years another few hours won’t make a difference, you can come back, my little girl is really sick.” 
And then a message came for Jairus, “It’s too late, your little girl is dead.”  “Dead, how could she be dead, she was just sick.”  That’s not the way it’s supposed to be, children are supposed to bury parents, parents aren’t supposed to bury children.  And yet it happens.  I have buried far too many children in my ministry, and from my perspective one would be far too many.  But it happens, and Jairus must have been absolutely devastated when it happened to his child.   And then Jesus looks at him and says “Don’t be afraid.  Just have faith.”    This man had faith enough to track down Jesus, this man had faith enough to ask Jesus to heal his daughter.  Now Jesus was asking him to simply have a little more faith.
And if you don’t know the story Jesus arrives at the home and sure enough the little girl has died he sends everyone out of the house and with the girl’s parents and Peter James and John he stands at the edge of the bed and calls out to the child, and she opens her eyes and lives and Jesus gives her back to her parents. 
“Don’t be afraid to believe Jairus.  The worst has already happened, your little girl has died, what will it cost you to believe?”  What is there in your life that God is calling you to believe him for?  What miracle do you need?  Don’t be afraid, only believe.
 Too often we are like the boy who read in the bible that if you have enough faith to believe that you can say to the mountain “be moved” and it would be moved.  So he looked out a pile of dirt in the back yard that his parents had asked him to move and he closed his eyes and prayed, “Pile of dirt be moved.”  And he waited and then opened his eyes and there the pile was, still there.  And the little boy said “Just like I thought, it’s still there.”
How often do we pray, not believing?    Don’t be afraid, only believe.  Because faith will never ask more than that you believe. 
Matthew 8:26 Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm.  Don’t be Afraid to Trust  This is another one of my favorite stories from the Gospels.  To put things into perspective here, it has been a full day, Jesus has taught the Sermon on the Mount, heals Peter’s mother in law as well as the centurion’s servant.  People are still gathering around to hear from the one who is being touted as the Messiah, God’s chosen one and so Jesus commands Peter and the boys to get the boat ready and they set sail across the Sea of Galilee.  Jesus fall asleep in the boat and half way across Galilee a sudden storm blows up.  Now understand these guys aren’t in a large enclosed vessel, it was probably  a small open sail boat that was overloaded with the thirteen of them on board.  A description of what is happening is found in Matthew 8:24-25 Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
And that’s where are scripture comes in Matthew 8:26 Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm.   You understand that they were confident that Jesus could do what had to be done, they woke him up so he could save them.  But they were still terrified.  They didn’t just say “We’re going to drown”  they started by saying “Lord, save us!” 
Jesus was with them when they started out and the sea was flat, Jesus was with them when the wind started to blow up and Jesus was with them in the midst of the storm.   And there are all kinds of lessons we could learn here, but the one that fits with this message is that even in the midst of the storms we can trust Jesus.  There are no promises in the scriptures that the Christian life will be without storm, but there are all kinds of places where we are promised the presence of God. 
One of my favorite promises in the bible is found in the Old Testament Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
It’s easy to trust in God when the sun is shining and all is well in the world, but what about when it isn’t?  If you know the rest of the story after Jesus calms the sea we are told that the Apostles were amazed because even the wind and waves obeyed him.  A lesson they could never have learned on a beautiful serene day.
Don’t be afraid to trust him. 
Luke 5:10-11 His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed. Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.
Don’t be Afraid to Follow   I would suspect that there are people here today who Jesus has called to follow him but there is something holding them back.  In the spring of 1979 my best friend decided that I should become a Christ Follower.  He had taken that step nine months before and now he decided that I should.  He put into play everything he had learned at Bible College, told me the difference that Jesus had made in his life, led me through the plan of salvation, asked me if I was ready to accept Christ as saviour and Lord of my life and I said “Nope.” 

I’m sure that wasn’t the answer that Reg was looking for, he had shown me all the scriptures the book had said to show me, he had asked all the questions the book had said to ask me, and now all that remained was to lead me through the prayer that was spelled out in the book, but I had said no.  And in his frustration Reg deviated from his script and blurted out “What are you so afraid of?”   And I said nothing, it’s just that. . .  and I listed out a whole list of reasons why I couldn’t or wouldn’t become a Christ Follower at that particular point in my life. 

And over the next several months we would revisit that conversation, and I would say no and Reg would ask “What are you so afraid of?”  And I would insist that I wasn’t afraid of anything, but . . . And then one night Reg convinced me to go to church with him, and so I did, what could it hurt.  And I reached down and picked up the bible that was in the back of the pew and flipped it open randomly, I didn’t know that there were different types of bibles and I certainly didn’t know that some bibles had the words of Christ in red, all I knew was when I opened that bible that night in Red letters in the middle of the page was Matthew 8:26 And he saith unto them, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?”  And for the rest of that service I struggled with that question.  “Why are ye fearful?”  I was afraid I wasn’t good enough and wouldn’t be able to fulfill the expectations I had of what a Christian should do and shouldn’t do.  I was afraid of losing control.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t have any more fun. 
And that night I realized that part of following was trusting.  And so I did.  On September 2, 1979 at First Wesleyan Church in Saint John I decided to follow Jesus, and I’ve never regretted it.  He has taken me places I would never have gone, he has allowed me to meet people I would never have met and has allowed me to do things I would never have done.  And in the end he has promised me an eternity with him.  Do you remember that old Toyota advertisment, “Who could ask for anything more?”  
So, where are you at this morning?  What is it that Jesus is asking you to trust him with?  What is it that Jesus is saying to you:  Do not be afraid to. . .   
Let me leave you with the words of Jesus, his promise to you for today, May 27th 2012,  John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

Sunday, May 20, 2012

What Jesus Said About . . . Hate


If we were to ask you to name the opposite of a particular word it would be easy, right?  Up, down.  Right, left or right, wrong.  In, out.  Black, white.  Happy, sad.  What about love?  You are thinking that would be easy, hate?  Maybe anger?   American psychologist, Rollo May stated “Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.”  Perhaps, but most of us don’t struggle with apathy.  But if I was a betting man I’d be willing to wager that there are folks here today who struggle with hatred and anger.  You only have to turn on the news to discover that we live in an angry world, a world that is more often than not defined by hatred rather than by love.
Riots, wars and persecution are more often the fruit of anger rather than apathy.  The news talks about hate crimes or sometimes you’ll hear that someone has been accused of committing a crime of passion, but that passion is the passion of anger.
Two weeks ago I spoke about how carelessly we use the word love, we love this and we love that.  But obviously there are different degrees of love because we don’t love our children in the same way that we love our favorite TV show, we don’t love our spouse like we love pizza.  Or at least I’d hope not. 
And we carelessly use the word hate in much the same way, I hate brussel sprouts, I hate “America’s Funniest Home Videos”, seriously I find it disturbing that people enjoy watching the misfortunes of others, I hate rap music, I hate anchovies on my pizza, I hate when you do that.  And some people might add, I hate that person.  On Monday morning after I started work on this message I came out of Tims and someone had snugged up close to my Smart Car, come on it only takes a half a parking spot people, and my first response was “I hate when people do that.”  But do I really?  Sure it bugs me, but does it make me wish ill on the person who did it? 
And for many people hate and anger are intertwined.  And they excuse it.  “That’s just the way I am.  I’ve always been angry, it’s the way I was raised, my parents were angry people.”  Or they blame other people, “I wouldn’t get angry if they didn’t act that way.”  “They deserve my hatred.”  “They hate me.” 
But while it may be true that you’ve always been an angry person you don’t have to remain an angry person.  It may be true that you were brought up in an angry household that doesn’t mean you need to continue the cycle.  Do you want your children to be angry hateful people?  Do you want them to use the same excuse that you use?  “My father, or my mother was an angry person, they taught me to hate.” 
You know my philosophy of choices.  We are what we choose to be.  We do what we choose to do.  And we are a product of our choices.  We are where are today as a result of choices we made yesterday. 
And some people find that a discouraging thought, but it is really liberating because when we accept that we are where we are today as a result of choices we made yesterday then we can determine where we will be tomorrow by the choices we make today. 
Emotions are a part of who we are, two weeks ago I spoke about how we were created as emotional beings.  But listen up we will either control our emotions or they will control us.  And there is no place that is truer than when it comes to our anger and our hatred.  Today you will have the opportunity to choose to not be angry any more.  Because as pithy and clichéique as it might be:  Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life.  
And this is important.  Listen to Jesus’ warning in Matthew 5:22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. Wow.  Let’s read that again.  Matthew 5:22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
It was Martin Luther King Jr. who said “Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
In the book of Luke Jesus not only told us not to hate, but he told us to turn that hate around.  Listen to his words in Luke 6:27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.” And then he goes on to the entire discourse if someone strikes you, turn the other cheek.  If someone asks for your coat give them your shirt as well.  If a person demands that you go a mile, then go two.   Have you ever noticed how the words of Jesus have become part of our everyday language?  Turn the other cheek.  He would give you the shirt right off his back.  He’s always willing to go the second mile.
Hate and anger are dangerous emotions.  They alienate people, they hurt people and when you hate, when you get angry it reduces you.  It makes you less of a person and it negates the power of Christ in your life.  (marvin the martin video)  Anger is really only funny in cartoons, in real life it is scary it’s frustrating and it is demeaning.
Why do we hate?  If you were to ask someone why they hate another person you would probably get as many different answers as there were people you asked.  But when it is boiled down to the core people all tend to hate for the same reasons.  They might dress it up with other words and reasons but ultimately you can probably find the root here. 
Some people hate because they have been hurt.  They feel that they are responding in kind to the way they have been treated. At some point in their life they feel that they have been wronged.  And in many cases they have been.  Life and people can be cruel.  And so people respond with hate and with anger.  Perhaps it was a physical hurt, someone bigger and more powerful than you physically hurt you.  Or worse maybe it was someone you trusted, a parent, a sibling, a spouse a neighbour.  You would never have expected it of them and they hurt you and took advantage of you, maybe took your innocence.  
Or perhaps it was an emotional hurt, you believed them and they lied to you, you trusted them and they betrayed you.  Or maybe they hurt you financially, they stole from you took your money or took your stuff.  But whatever it was and however it happened they hurt you.
And so you hate them.  And you would hurt them back if you could, but you can’t.  Either because you are incapable of it, or simply because you know that society frowns on that type of thing.  And so you seethe in anger and marinade in hate. 
And it was wrong, there was no reason for them to hurt you, you weren’t to blame, no matter what they say.  But understand this; as long as you hang onto that hate they will continue to hurt you.  It will consume your days and it will steal your nights.   They will have reduced you to their level as you relive the hurt and as you think of ways you can hurt them back. 
It was Booker T. Washington who wrote “I will not permit any man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” 
So what is the solution?  Most of us know the Lord’s prayer, if only in passing, many of us could recite by rote, and because of that we don’t really hear the words we say.  But when Jesus told the apostles “This is how you should pray”  it was new and fresh and revolutionary.  And so they didn’t just skim over the words, they thought about them and so when they heard Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:12 “Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”  They were able to form in their minds a mental picture of who it was that they needed to forgive and why they needed to forgive and it wasn’t easy.  I’m sure it were these words that Peter was thinking about when he came to Jesus in Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
 What makes me think that as Jesus had been teaching Peter had been stewing.  Thinking about something someone had said about him or did to him, perhaps more than once.  Maybe five time or six times and he was getting tired of turning the other cheek.  And to be truthful if this was more than a hypothetical situation and Peter had already forgiven the person multiple times he was a better person than most of us.  But he wasn’t ready for Jesus’ answer Matthew 18:22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!     
Jesus was telling Peter the same thing that Author Isabelle Holland reminds us of today  “As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind.”
And you may be thinking, but how can I trust them again?  This isn’t about trust it is about forgiveness.  And those are two different issues.  Forgiveness is about the past, trust is about the future. Sometimes we hear people say “you haven’t forgiven if you haven’t forgotten.”  That isn’t true. 
When we have been hurt by someone, emotionally, physically, spiritually it hurts and will often leave a scar.  With forgiveness the hurt will go away but often times the scar will remain.  If someone takes advantage of me in a business deal, I can forgive them but I would be silly if I allowed them to do it again.  Goes back to “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
And if they broke the law they need to be accountable to the law even if you forgive them, you can forgive them for what they did to you but it is not in your power to absolve them of criminal behaviour.
And often it is the person who did the hurting who equates forgiveness with forgetfulness.  The person who breaks their wedding vows is hurt because their spouse doesn’t trust them.  Duh.  The abusive parent can’t understand why their relationship with their kid can’t be the same as other parents and kids have, even after they’ve been forgiven.  Because the scars are still there. 
You don’t forgive for them, you forgive for yourself, you forgive to free yourself from the chains of the past and the prison of hatred.  They may have stolen your past don’t let them steal your future as well. 
And don’t forget, forgiveness is not a feeling it is an action. 
Another reason people hate and get angry is Because Of Envy.  We hate people because they have what we don’t and that makes us angry.  The 99% weren’t angry because they have so little, they still have more than the majority of the world.  No they were angry because the 1% have so much more than they have.  With Nova Scotia Power seeking another price increase the anger that comes out isn’t whether or not the increase is justified it seems to be directed at the fact that Rob Bennett, the President of Nova Scotia Power will make $1.1 million this year.    And you understand that if Rob Bennett didn’t take a nickel of salary this year it would reduce your power bill by less than a penny a day.  Thirty cents a month.  But I understand your frustration.  To think that the executive who runs the utility that puts power in every one of our homes, every day, who employs thousands of people and is responsible to keep the entire grid on track is paid the same as a 24 year old hockey player from Hammond Plains is paid to play a game.  Inconceivable. 
And so people hate those who are more successful than they are, and hate those who have more money than they do.  Why do so many people around the world hate the United States?  Because Americans have so much more than they do.  They are envious. 
It was Jerry Lewis who said “People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.”   And probably because he’s so humble. 
We think of envy as being kind of harmless but Jesus lists envy along with theft, adultery and murder.  In Galatians when Paul lists the acts of the sinful nature envy is there along with idolatry, drunkenness, and selfish ambition.    In his letter to the Romans Paul writes of every kind of wickedness and there is envy on the list.    We mentioned earlier that we don’t forgive for the benefit of those we are forgiving, in most cases they couldn’t give a rip.  We forgive for us.
In the same way most of those we envy it doesn’t bother them.   Rob Bennett  doesn’t lose sleep knowing that people envy his salary.  It was Herodutus, the Greek historian who said “How much better a thing it is to be envied than to be pitied.”
The reason the Ten Commandments warns us to not covet, or envy, the reason Jesus calls it sin, the reason Paul refers to it as wickedness is not because of the damage it does to those we envy, but because of the damage it does to us. 
It was Confucius who said “A person is born with feelings of envy and hate. If he gives way to them, they will lead him to violence and crime.”
And so a step toward not hating is not envying.  And the way to not envy is by learning to be content and that comes when we learn to be thankful for what we have.  The old hymn says “Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your many blessings see what God has done.” 
The third reason people hate is Because of Ignorance  People hate other people because they don’t know better.  Because they have allowed themselves to be swayed by the thoughts and hatred of others.  And this is the cause of most of the hatred in the world.  It is so easy to hate people we don’t know.  The reason that the German people could be complicit in the death of six million Jews in the holocaust was they had been told they should hate them, and so they did.  The reason for racism is that people are ignorant about other people and believe what they are told. And so for far too many years African Americans weren’t allowed in the same schools, restaurants, rest rooms and churches as their white counterparts.  Why?  Because of ignorance.   And so the militant factions of Islam can raise up suicide bombers because they convince them that those they are attacking need to be killed and they shape ignorance into hatred.
And the antidote to ignorance is truth.  As Christ Followers Jesus promised us in John 8:32 “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  There is no good reason to hate someone.  If you must hate then hate injustice, hate racism, and hate poverty. 
In our ignorance we hate those who are different then we are and yet Paul reminds the early Christ Followers in  Galatians 3:28 There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Let’s go back to where we began Matthew 5:43-44 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Don’t waste another day or another ounce of energy on anger and hatred.  You can’t change the past but your choices today will and can change your tomorrow.  If you have anger issues, if you have problems with hate then I want to pray for you right now.  And I want you to know that while you might not be able to control those emotions by yourself you can control them with God’s help.  Because anger and hatred are not habits, they are not personality traits they are sin. 


Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Hooker for Mom of the Year


Last week we started looking at:  What Jesus Said About our Emotions, and we’ll be coming back to that next week, this week is all about mom. 

If you were looking for a contestant for “Mother of the Year” this mom probably wouldn’t have made your list.  She was just a hooker, a lady of the night.  And normally we wouldn’t even consider her to be in the running for “Mother of the Year” but then again, it’s not “Wife of the Year” we are looking at, it’s “Mother of the Year” and the two aren’t always the same.  Maybe you know the story, maybe you don’t.  We don’t know a whole lot about her, we know that she was a prostitute; we know that she lived with at least one other prostitute, we know that she was a new mom and we know that she had a major problem. 

It seems that both the heroine of our story and her roommate gave birth at the same time, which was probably an occupational hazard of their particular profession. And they both had sons.  One morning shortly after the boys were born it was discovered that one of the children had died in the night.  The cause given was that the mother had rolled over and smothered him.   It’s here that the story gets a little confusing.  The mother with the dead child claimed that it wasn’t her son, that her colleague had switched the boys in the night after the accident.  The other mother protested her innocence and maintained that she had done nothing wrong and that the children had never been swapped.

One of these women was lying; both could not be telling the truth.  People do that you know, they lie.  Honest.  I’ve been in the ministry for a hundred years, well maybe not quite a hundred years but over thirty years, and I’ve seen people lie.  I have sat down with couples in marriage counselling and she has said black and he has said white, and to look at them you swear they were both telling the truth, and yet they couldn’t be. 

I’ve heard her say “He does this vile thing” and him say “no I don’t, never have.”  And I just shake my head. 

They sound like a couple of kids, “Did too” “Did Not”, Did too” “Did Not”, “Did too”. 

And so we have a problem, who is telling the truth and who is lying?   The story is found in the Old Testament book of 1 Kings, David has died and Solomon his son has become king of Israel. 
Tamara is going to come to read the story for us, and I’m going to ask that you stand for the reading of God’s word. 1Kings 3:16-27

(Scripture Reading)

To put this story into context we need that understand that shortly after Solomon had become king, he went to a place called Gibeon to offer a sacrifice to God and while he was there he had a dream where God appeared to him and offered him anything he wanted. Anything. Suppose God appeared to you and made you the same offer.  “Say Bob, you can have anything you want, you name it and it’s yours.”  What would you request?  A better job, a bigger house, a nicer car?  More money, a happier marriage, there are probably a dozen good requests that you could make, all valid choices.  But listen to how Solomon responds in 1 Kings 3:9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”
Of all the things he could have asked for he asks for wisdom.  Maybe he didn’t need to ask for wisdom, maybe he was already wise because listen to how God answers his prayer, 1 Kings 3:12-13 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!
You gotta love that.

And so Solomon goes back to Jerusalem and throws a feast for his entire court. It’s not long after that the two prostitutes show up with this compelling problem. This is to be the first test of Solomon’s wisdom.  It is an interesting enough story that it has been used at the Harvard School of Law as a case study. 

So what can we learn from this story and from this mother?

1) She was Willing to be Persistent. I wonder how many different avenues this woman how already exhausted? Did the two women work for the same madam or pimp?  Had she asked them to intervene?  Had she gone to the local authorities?  Perhaps the magistrate?  Had they all given her the same answer, “There is nothing we can do, how are we supposed to know which one of you is lying?”  How often had she considered giving up, just throwing up her hands and saying “It’s no good, I’ll never have my child back.”? And if she had of done that what would the result have been? Her child would never have been returned, she would have gone through the remainder of her life full of self-doubt and self-loathing.  For the rest of her time on earth she would have been plagued with “What if” and “if only”

And yet deep down inside she knew that somewhere there would be someone who would listen to her, that somehow the truth would come out.  Most of us will go to extremes for our kids, we drive them back and forth to music lessons, soccer, hockey, baseball, hockey, school events, dances, did I mention hockey?  We want our kids to have the very best and we are willing to persevere to make sure they get the very best.

And we don’t give up on them, we want them to do the very best they can do in school, in sports, socially.  And we push them and encourage them, sometimes we berate them.  But we do it so they will achieve and be the very best that they can possibly be, although sometimes I wonder if we are pushing them to be the very best we should have been or could have been. 

And we try not to give up, even though at time that would appear to be the easiest thing to do. As parents we are supposed to be the ones that know the benefits of perseverance, they are children we are adults. 

They can’t see the end result; they think we are just being annoying when we continue to pester them about doing their homework, and practicing their piano and brushing their teeth.  But we know that in the end those are the things that will make the difference. That when they are adults and have an education, can play the piano and don’t’ have to keep their teeth in a glass they will thank us. 

And it’s not something that we do once, you know in grade one your kid comes home, you say “Don’t forget to do your homework.” And that’s the last time you have to mention it.  And every parent here knows the truth of Margaret Thatcher’s statement when she said “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” This woman was willing to go the second mile and the third mile and the fourth mile, even if it meant that she, a prostitute, would have to make her way to the throne room of the King of Israel, the spiritual leader of the nation to plead her case.

As parents we all know the need to persevere in the things of the world, school, sports, music, but how about the spiritual?  Are we willing to go the limit to make sure our kids are in church, go to youth group and are involved in spiritual things  After all if they blow their education they can go back for upgrading, if they don’t learn piano oh well, they probably won’t make it to the NHL anyways and they can always wear dentures, but eternity is forever. And remember you may have to fight that battle more than once to win it, but it needs to be won.   

I don’t know what Robert Strauss was referring to but he could have been referring to parenthood when he said “It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired.”

And it was Julie Andrews, who said “Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” I think it was Suzanna Wesley, John and Charles Wesley’s Mother who had nineteen children, twelve of whom live. Once she was telling one of her children something and someone said “That is the tenth time you’ve told that child that.” And Suzanna replied, “And if I’d only told them nine times, I would have wasted my time.” You understand what she meant right?  It might be the next time that sticks.

2) She was willing to Make Sacrifices Here was a woman who was willing to give up everything for her child, her time, her pride and even her child.  We all know that raising kids require sacrifice, right?  Financially you all heard how much it costs on an average to feed, clothe and educate your children. An article in US News started off this way “To examine in coldly economic terms a parent's decision to have children is widely thought to be in bad taste. A child, after all, isn't precisely akin to a consumer product such as a dishwasher, a house, a car, or a personal computer--any one of which, of course, is cheaper to acquire and usually easier to return.”  According to money sense magazine  the cost to raise a child to the age of 18 is $243,660.00 and that doesn’t include the price if you kids get really serious about their sports or hobbies, that assumes you have health insurance for dental, prescriptions and glasses and it doesn’t include their post-secondary education. 

That’s a small bungalow, somewhere, or ten Harleys, 1.2 Mercedes SL550 convertibles, or staying with the fine German Engineering ragtop theme, 12 Smart Convertibles.  And that’s before they go to college. But of course the sacrifices don’t end there.  We make sacrifices of our time, or our energy, and for the most part they think you enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. to get them to hockey practice and that you enjoy waiting up until midnight or later to make sure they get in safe and sound. And for the most part we are willing to make those sacrifices.

And it’s those sacrifices that make us parents; South African Writer Nadine Gordimer said “There is no moral authority like that of sacrifice.”  And Mothers you know that,  how many times have you used sacrifice as your moral trump card?  “After all I’ve done for you, carried you for nine months I was as big as a house, my feet swelled up like bedroom slippers, and do you want to see my stretch marks? And then, and then, you want to break my heart, well go ahead.”  There well may be folks here today because mom played the guilt card. 

But this woman was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, she was willing to give up her child. She would give up her opportunity of being a mother in order for her child to live.  That’s what set her apart from the other woman, with the other woman it was all about her. 

I have a cousin who became pregnant when she was a teenager, in Australia we’d say she fell pregnant, which always caused me to have all kinds of weird mental pictures, opps, thump, “Dear I think I’m pregnant.”  Anyway, when my cousin was still in High School she gave birth, and gave the child up for adoption to a Christian couple who couldn’t have children. She felt that as much as she wanted to keep her child that they would have more opportunities with that family.

That’s not always the case, sometimes single moms make the sacrifice of raising a child by themselves because they feel that it will be in the best interest of the child. My mom was a teenaged mom, and she didn’t do a half bad job with my sister and me, then again my sister is in and out of jail all the time, well actually she works for the corrections department but I like my story better.

Oh and when you make those sacrifices so they will be better scholars, better hockey players, better musicians don’t forget to make some sacrifices so they will be better people, better Christians. Like getting up on Sunday Morning so they are in church, getting them out to youth events, paying for them to go to Christian rallies and Christian Camps. 

We have literature on the back table about Caton’s Island which is second to none when it comes to summer camping programs. You say “Denn we can’t send them to hockey camp, music camp, computer camp and a Christian Camp” Yeah you’re probably right, so you figure it out.

3) She Was Willing To Go To A Higher Power Here’s the question, do you take your kids to a higher power?  Not to the king but to God?  Do you pray for your children, over your children and with your children?  I have a confession to make, we weren’t very good at “Family Devotions” I hope that didn’t just destroy your image of the perfect pastoral family.  We’ve tried, and we would do it for a while, read scripture and pray together, but then it would get tough, we couldn’t get everyone together, we were tired and I know that was no excuse.  And I know that doesn’t happen with anyone else, but boy it was a struggle for us.

But we do pray for our kids, Angela prays for them when she has her quiet time with God, I pray for them when I have my quiet time with God and we pray for them together.  And here’s something we did, I’m not bragging, don’t get me wrong this is just something we did. Every day when our kids went to school they knew that they were not stepping out through that door until I placed my hand on them and prayed for them.  When I wasn’t home Angela did it.  We thanked God for who they are, we asked God to protect them and be with them, and we asked God to draw them closer to Him.  It wasn’t always an eloquent prayer, sometimes it was a rushed prayer, but we prayed for our kids every day from primary to graduation.
You do not have what it takes to be a parent, but God does and he can give it to you.  If you aren’t praying for your kids then you need to start and at the same time pray that God will make you a better parent. James the brother of Christ tells us in the letter he wrote, in James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.   And what parent doesn’t need wisdom?
The question has to be: Why?  Why was she willing to be persistent?  Why was she willing to make sacrifices?  Why was she willing to go to a higher power?  Because she was a mother and She Wasn’t Willing To Lose Her Child.  There are probably many of you here today who have come at the request of your mother for the same reason.  And probably husbands who are here to appease their wives on Mother’s Day.  And here is the truth boy and girls, the reason your mother is so concerned about you being in church is she doesn’t want to lose you. 
The thought of being separated for eternity from the ones she loves is almost unbearable for her.  In many cases it is mom who first embraces Jesus as her Lord and she wants to pass that gift onto the ones she loves.  Kids if you have never chosen to follow Jesus, husbands if you aren’t Christ followers then it is breaking the heart of your mother and your wife.  She knows the reality of John 14:6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.
The reason that your mom pesters you about church and your faith and reading your bible, the reason she is willing to make sacrifices to get you here, the reason she lays awake at night and prays for you is because she loves you.  And just like the mother in this story, she doesn’t want to lose her children, or her husband.  Your mother could have written the words from 3 John 1:4 I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.
And so part of why your mother, or your spouse was so insistent about you coming today is because they are hoping I will tell you what they want to tell you and that is this:  They don’t want to lose you, they don’t want to go to sleep each night wondering where you will spend your eternity.  And they want so bad for me to tell you what Peter told the crowd outside of the temple gate in Jerusalem  Acts 3:19 Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away.   If you are here today and you have never chosen to follow Jesus it is just that easy.  Repent is what you do, it’s when you stop following your desires, it’s when you turn away from the world and in doing that you turn to God.   It is the decision that you make to commit your life, your past and your future to Jesus Christ.   Paul tells us in Ephesians 2:8-9 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.
Are you ready to take that step today.  It really is win win, you get a gift from God, because his word tells us that the gift of God is eternal life, and in the process you give your mother a gift that she has only dreamed of.